In Fear There is Temptation
I think a lot about who I used to be and the mistakes that I have made. It’s as if I am afraid to move forward out of fear of being pulled back. Temptation is everywhere… waiting. It waits for you to make a misstep and fall into the deep, dark, cycles of comfort. There is no comfort in growth. When the hand of temptation peeks out to grab you, remember all that you’ve worked for. You could never go back and be the same person you once were because during that time, you’ve accumulated so much life experience.
Fear. Fear seems to be the recurring theme in a lot of my work. Some artists create from pain: pain from loss, pain from experiences, pain from suffering. Others create from experiences that left a huge mark in their lives. I create from emotions and feelings and at the moment, fear is my muse. It allows me to create from a place deep within to share with the world. I know I am not alone. I also know that someone out there needs to hear they are not alone. Embarking on following your heart for something that isn’t quite tangible yet is terrifying. But I have faith that I am on the right path and that this is meant to be. The path of self-employment through my creative talents is not new to me. I didn’t succeed the first time so naturally I am scared to try again. What mostly makes me nervous is old habits of laziness, poor eating, poor planning, under valuing my work, feeling exasperated at home and not having enough money. I am working through these things by writing what I think my demons are and how I plan to tackle them when they appear. I am working on developing new habits to help me succeed. Additionally, I have my work to thank for all that I have learned in the last 3 years – they’ve encouraged me to grow, learn and live the life that I want to live. Because of all of these things, I feel a transformation happening and I am trying again.
What do you fear most about following your heart?
Who do you know that could hear the words “You are not alone in your fears”?
I wanted to share a couple of behind the scenes photos. I posed for this piece in my garage. My neighbors pretty much think I am crazy (which is alright with me). What I truly wanted to show is that you can make art out of anything and anywhere. The grass and brick photos that I used for the backdrop came from my recent trip to Copenhagen. The butterflies and smoke were also photographed in the garage. It’s fun to get creative right?